aren't you glad this was the first video post

[britbrat]

[ Badgernet's video function is broken in today by a disconcertingly close-up pair of blue eyes and a muffled: ]

- oh, blast -

[ Some fiddling and repositioning later, the eyes are revealed to belong to a boy no older than eleven, wearing an unusually green suit and an expression of astonishment. ]

I say, this really is a marvelous little device, isn't it? Right, then:

[ He straightens up to his full height of... not very tall, rearranging his face into a practiced superciliousness. ]

It's all well and good to go around claiming to be angels and devils and what have you, but clearly this gadget's more than just an elaborate typewriter, isn't it? I suggest you all show yourselves! Look, I've done so first, as a gesture of goodwill.

[ And definitely not because he hit the video button by accident while snooping! Luckily(?), internet stranger danger isn't a concept in his time yet, so he continues: ]

And shall we take a roll call while we're at it? You may call me Valmont, and at present I am located in San Francisco, in the year 1976 A.D. Are all of you people really from the future - ?

Who are you talking to, sweetie?

Oh, double blast -

[ A hasty rearranging of the camera view, and a brief close-up of the inside of an expensive suit pocket, before the feed turns off. ]

Comments

[britbrat]

[ Okay, apparently Valmont's made it somewhere he won't be interrupted, because the feed clicks back on not too long afterwards - and he immediately takes a step backward, eyes wide. ]

Good lord, what are you supposed to be?

[ Tactful, V. But in his defense, it's one thing to know that supernatural entities exist, and another to stare one in the face. ]

For your information, I am not "out by myself". I'm quite safely ensconced in the bedroom of my host parents' house, thank you. Moreover, I believe I've already told you how you were to address me, and it's not "kiddo".

[ His lip curls at the word. ]

[oneiroslacker]

Sure thing, kid!

[i swear he is actually trying]

My name's Hypnos, god of sleep, you may have heard of me? I own half your life. Maybe not your life if you're in another world or something, but mortals' lives in general?

[britbrat]

...Better, I suppose.

[ Not by much, but he gets the sense that if he pokes at it he'll end up with an even less flattering sobriquet. ]

Hypnos? Of Greek myth? Zeus and Poseidon and all that? I suppose that would explain the dog with three heads, wouldn't it.

[ He was kind of wondering. ]

But if there truly are angels and devils on this network, or whatever it is - your mythology can't coexist with theirs, surely?

[oneiroslacker]

That's us!

Don't those guys just work for other gods? Seems pretty straightforward to me.

[what's a monotheism]

[britbrat]

Er, well, theoretically, there's only supposed to be the one God. You lot are, dare I say it, a tad obsolete. Then again, as of right now you're the only god I've ever spoken to...

[ he's not even religious he can't have a crisis of faith now ]

[oneiroslacker]

Just one god for everything? They'd never get anything done! I can't even imagine how much parchmentwork would pile up.

[britbrat]

I assume that's what the angels and such are for. Delegation, you know. The ability to divide up one's workload is essential to proper management.

[ He says this with all the confidence of a child who's parroting something he read in a book a day ago. ]

[oneiroslacker]

Those are pretty big words for a kid your age.

[britbrat]

Don't patronize me. I read, unlike some children.

[ That's how he spends most of his free time, really. A kid in the '70s with no friends and no desire to get his hands dirty doesn't have too many other options. ]

[oneiroslacker]

Oh, kids read already at that age?

[He doesn't know anything about mortal kids.]

[britbrat]

...Yes? I'm eleven. What's the standard age of literacy where you come from?

[oneiroslacker]

It's a pretty high number! Since most people don't learn ever.

[britbrat]

What do you people do for fun?

[oneiroslacker]

Chariot races are big, I hear! And tournaments of all kinds.