badgernet_multiversal | Entries tagged with alastor [ou]

[The recording opens on what looks like some sort of Victorian-style mansion, with a posh looking chair off to the side. The screen is dominated by a rather imposing figure, twice the size of even a large human. His voice is a deep growl, with an unnatural reverb to it.]

Just get me something I can sit in without it breaking. I don't care if it matches or not, it's temporary.

[He's addressing a small group of identical robots built roughly to scale with an average human. One of them makes a series of high-pitched 'beee' noises in response, and the demon shrugs.]

Pester Charles or something, he should have tail-friendly furniture. Just don't tell him why I need it.

[More half-beeps.]

Because, he'd laugh his head off if he found out I look just as monstrous as the rest of them.

[More beeping, and this time the demon lets out a sound akin to a groan.]

Good question, we're not exactly buddies...

[He starts to shake his head, then takes note of his computer screen.]

Well, so much for not showing off this form. Well, might as well crowdsource...anyone watching this got any ideas for how to ask someone about borrowing furniture without saying why? Keeping in mind that the 'someone' in question is a self-proclaimed evil 'genius' and thinks of me mainly as a professional obstacle.

simplythehero

Multiversal social media. I see. Hello BadgerNet. Called Hero. I am a hero. I await my purpose. Will help if asked. Have considerable experience. Seen many worlds. Defeated many demon kings. Made peace with demons many times. Miscellaneous experiences including defeating evil human king and nobles who wanted to ritual sacrifice entire kingdom. Playing card games for fate of world. Racing of multiple types. And other similar unusual situations.

Be forewarned. I investigate first before helping. Been deceived before.

superstylishsquid

I'm not sure if this is hilarious or painful. For a bit of context, after my boss offed the hero I'd wanted to fight, he kidnapped some girl for who knows why. Turns out, her boyfriend managed to follow her and get his hands on the source of the ex-hero's power, but he's about as bright as a chimp with a concussion.

Somehow, he's managed to bumble his way into defeating all three of our junior officers, and Fire Leo's not exactly the best guy to send to a sandbar in the middle of the ocean, so guess who gets to go take out the trash. It's a waste of my talents, but it might just be worth it to not have to suffer the secondhand embarrassment of watching him.

[About an hour later, the post gets edited.]

Update: Maybe it wasn't completely dumb luck after all. I'd pretty much mopped the floor with the guy, was all set to finish him off and everything, but he managed a beautiful comeback. By which I mean, he actually managed to land a hit on me that I felt, but that's pretty impressive for a newbie at this. If he survives Fire Leo too, maybe he'll actually turn out to be worth considering as a hero.

Too bad he ruined the beauty of his moves by deciding to call himself 'Viewtiful', not to mention by being generally ugly. He should've stuck with Stumblebutt Joe.

[Attached is an image that looks more like a movie still than a candid photo.]

fruitknife

[This first part might be video, but the screen is dark, if that's the case. There's a lecture going on in the background, given by a cranky-sounding older man who says he's going to discuss some older Japanese literature, but spends a not insignificant chunk of the lecture time railing about how the students are a bunch of ungrateful brats with no appreciation for their culture.

After a good while of this 'lecture,' there's a muttered "Fuck's sake" much closer to the device's microphone.]

***

[Over lunch, Shinji discovers part 1 up there.]

Of course this damn thing turned itself on. Why wouldn't it.

I have no idea why Aki thinks that class is gonna get any better after midterms. Ekoda clearly doesn't give a flying fuck if we learn anything useful or not.

Really, for such a high-class school, most of the teachers here suck. He's just the worst by a long shot.

britbrat

[ Badgernet's video function is broken in today by a disconcertingly close-up pair of blue eyes and a muffled: ]

- oh, blast -

[ Some fiddling and repositioning later, the eyes are revealed to belong to a boy no older than eleven, wearing an unusually green suit and an expression of astonishment. ]

I say, this really is a marvelous little device, isn't it? Right, then:

[ He straightens up to his full height of... not very tall, rearranging his face into a practiced superciliousness. ]

It's all well and good to go around claiming to be angels and devils and what have you, but clearly this gadget's more than just an elaborate typewriter, isn't it? I suggest you all show yourselves! Look, I've done so first, as a gesture of goodwill.

[ And definitely not because he hit the video button by accident while snooping! Luckily(?), internet stranger danger isn't a concept in his time yet, so he continues: ]

And shall we take a roll call while we're at it? You may call me Valmont, and at present I am located in San Francisco, in the year 1976 A.D. Are all of you people really from the future - ?

Who are you talking to, sweetie?

Oh, double blast -

[ A hasty rearranging of the camera view, and a brief close-up of the inside of an expensive suit pocket, before the feed turns off. ]

superstylishsquid

So, multiversal, huh? I guess that means people from all over Movieland can see this, maybe even outside. Sprocket's gonna blow a gasket when she finds out someone got past her 'no fun allowed' blocks.

Then again, not like us officers are gonna have much to do for a while, considering we're down one hero. Might as well entertain myself until she gets around to adding this site to the blacklist.

I'm Alastor, lightning devil and senior officer of Jadow. Might as well make this into a Q&A, so anyone got anything they wanna ask while I figure out what I'm going to do with my archenemy dead?

Current Mood: bored
Current Location: Movielend

badgernet

Welcome to the grand opening of the Multiversal edition of Badgernet! Hopefully you can see this, going multiversal turned out to be surprisingly tricky! Assuming all goes well, you should be able to reply to this and make new posts. You should've also gotten the welcome message. If not, well, you probably won't be able to contact us so we'll be keeping an eye on things and immediately getting on fixing problems as they appear. As such, we'll be too busy to respond to comments on this post. Apologies!

[Insert a gif of an animated badger opening a champagne bottle while confetti falls everywhere.]

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BadgerNet Multiversal

Entries tagged with alastor [ou]

Accidental Video

Ah. BadgerNet. [Text]

UN: Blademaster

Accidental audio, then deliberate text

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aren't you glad this was the first video post

(no subject)

Hello, this is a test post and an announcement!

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March 2022

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