less gothic-punk, more bad wuxia (text)

[lightnovelexperiences]

Look I shouldn’t even know martial arts. I flunked college aikido during my bad year, that’s about it.

So three questions!

1: what the fuck is a vajrapanta
2: why do I know enough Taekwondo, kenpo and aikido to take down a huge hairy man trying to threaten me at work because we’re apparently tainted by evil spirits
2b: look I could have told you that, evil spirits of capitalism possessing Corporate would be unsurprising
3: when did Akira become a Dionysus worshipper of some kind and what’s up with his giving me beer and telling me it has healing properties
4: I’m bad at counting what the fuck is a circle and why am I apparently in one

seriously just cause I’m half-Korean doesn’t mean I should know anime level punchwizardry and yet

PS: Akira’s beer is good. herby and light. not much of a beer guy myself but it’s pretty great. Wouldn’t say if it’s healing per se but it does make me feel better

Comments

[oneiroslacker]

Your friend could pick worse gods to worship, even between Lord Hades' relatives! I've never met him myself, but he sounds alright.

[lightnovelexperiences]

I will be totally honest: I forgot there were honest to y'all greek gods on this network when I posted that

I mean, he's the god of getting crunk, and who doesn't need that once in a while

and you're right about there being worse, by all accounts Zeus is the god of thinking with the wrong head

[oneiroslacker]

You should go to one of his parties if you ever get the chance!

[lightnovelexperiences]

I mean if Akira is holding a party in his honor while this is happening since he's apparently a Dionysian now may as well

though I can't imagine the benefits being much more than his friends company and really, really good booze. maybe also a Monsterhearts oneshot for Halloween or something

[axmeowder]

You're going to have to explain. Almost every word you used.

[lightnovelexperiences]

I woke up as some kind of wizard except I cast spells by punching people and doing martial arts stances

this came with the idea that I'm a "vajrapanta"

what the fuck is a Vajrapanta? who the fuck knows?

[axmeowder]

That's one you don't know. What's taekwondo, kenpo, aikido, corporate, dionysus, and korean?

[lightnovelexperiences]

taekwondo: a formalized method of kicking people in the face

kenpo: a formalized method of punching people in the nuts

aikido: a formalized method of throwing people who try to punch and kick you

corporate: i guess you would call these the bigger, meaner cousins of guilds

dionysus: a god, mostly of booze and parties. hypnos apparently knows him personally

korean: from the country korea. my dad was korean. my mom's parents were from russia.

[axmeowder]

So Dionysus is a god. Like Shariel. Okay.
I understand your references now.

[lightnovelexperiences]

if you want me to get referential you'll need to get me yakking about games and anime but happy to help

[axmeowder]

No. That's what they do.
No.
Do not.

[lightnovelexperiences]

will try not to

you’re just a bundle of isekai related trauma huh

[axmeowder]

It's not trauma.
But they are enemies.

[ it's trauma ]

[turingcompletionist]

I'm just trying to figure out why I'm now physically twenty-two again and also a vampire for some reason. What the fuck?

[lightnovelexperiences]

sparkly or regular kind?

also at least you’re a vampire in 2047, the era where you need to venture out under the daystar the least

[turingcompletionist]

... crazy kind. Evidently. The sparkly kind are the Torero, oh Jesus fuck, I think Alain is one of them. What the fuck?

[lightnovelexperiences]

Yeah I don’t know either, but, uh, be advised that there are also werewolves, and they don’t like vampires or corporations much

source: what my roommate assures me was a werewolf trying to jump us at the tote-em-snax, which they could tell was one on account of their fucking weretiger sense of smell

[turingcompletionist]

Yeah, no, werewolves have cooties. Fuck 'em.

Shit. I think I might have to sleep in my closet today. Most of the rooms here have windows. Also it's a bitch and a half to tune out these little whispering voices all the time.

look, it's required

[fruitknife]

Rude. Fuck someone else.

[Shinji's joking, and only saying this because so far these two seem like Not Horrible Adults.]

[have_hat_will_travel]

... Oh, genreswaps! I've heard of these.

It seems like I'm an odd one out, I'm not affected by this event. Maybe it's because the curse already counts me as a monster?

But yeah, basically the genre's switched on you from 'mundane Earth' to, as you put it, 'punchwizardry' which sounds a lot cooler than Monks, an adventuring profession on my world.

Not sure about the healing beers thing, I suspect if I had an alchemist buddy on my world they could figure out how to do that though?

[twoasone]

I've seen a lot of posts like this lately... Is this sort of thing going to happen to everyone?